Tuesday, July 24, 2007

i hate doctors

--Last Friday--
Dr. So-and-So: let see, the last time i saw you was... in 2005?! How come you don't see me more often?
me: I hate doctors.

Dr. s-n-s: all you people get a rash you think it is so weird.
me: ummm, well considering I have had two in my life, this one and chicken pox at 7.. it IS a little weird for me.

Dr. s-n-s: We will take your blood and see what that turns up, we should get the results Monday.

--yesterday, (Monday)--
i call Dr. so-n-so's office @ 11:30am... no results, call back after lunch.
i call again @2:30pm... can't give results over the phone, must make appointment
make an appointment for tomorrow, Tues.

--today, (Tuesday)--
Dr. s-n-s: your blood test results indicate you have been fighting with a virus (no shit?!!) most likely measles--> but then the good dr. proceeds to tell me my white blood cell status COULD be an indicator of HIV.

WHAT?!! how is that the first alternative to measles that came to your mind doc??

He wants me back in two weeks for follow-up blood work. he follows me down the hallway toward the payout desk asking me if i would consider myself to be in a high-risk category.... ummm.. no i says, not to the best of my recollection...but to be on the safe-side i will double-check with the hubby on his last 10 years of multiple sex-partnering and IV drug use.

Happily, I am on the uphill side of this fever-rash thing... the rash is disappearing and I am feeling much more energetic.

13 comments:

Herb said...

Hey Kiddo,

When you were conceived I was having a wild fling with a cute Alpaca name Chloe. She was very fluffy and apeared to be clean enough but then she went back to the Andes where she lived and I lost track....


To be serious are you taking anything for your whateveritis. Has or when will the Dr be able to give you a definative diagnosis?? When do you next see the Dr.????

Michael-Ann said...

Hi Dad :)

Its about time you came clean on your long-time affinity for four-legged creatures... might explain my excessive body hair... well that and mom's genetics tossed into the mix... oh and my superior intellect as indicated by Mensa drawing parrallels between masculine women and intelligence :)

I'm not taking any medications as I am pretty much over the virus... no definitive diagnosis. He wants me to come back for more blood work when I am out of the 10-day period in which white blood cells are usually affected by any typical virus.

Suzanne said...

I hate doctors too...

It took me two days to see one during a pretty serious asthma attack (I kept saying that it was going to pass...)

I hope that you are doing better :)

Shelli said...

that doc is insane! i PRAY you're ok!!!
love you bunches!!

Richard said...

The Matrix has you . .

Yeesh, that conversation with the Doctor was a virus, it downloaded a higher heart rate into me.

Feel better soon.

Mitch said...

Glad to hear your clearing up. I'm kinda disappointed though, I know if you were home another week, your fans would get a part II of Stayed home from work today: http://www.artonthewing.com/blog/2007/01/stayed-home-from-work-today.html

No really, stay well! White Linen Night is only a week away!

Cheers!

mike macgirvin said...

I too once had a strange rash that defied diagnosis. It was very persistent. After ten years of seeing puzzled specialists and batteries of tests (including several HIV tests), one day it was bothering me once again and I accidentally applied Athlete's Foot medication instead of the prescribed alien microbe killer which never worked - as my eyesight was starting to fail me. The rash went away forever, indicating that it was probably some simple fungus rather than the insistence of all the specialists that it was some strange and novel virus which had built up an immunity to the entire arsenal of antibiotics.

Michael-Ann said...

:) thanks y'all :)

I am pretty much all better now.

JaneDoughnut said...

Get a new doctor. That's freaking ridiculous.

Biddie said...

yes - I vote for a different doctor also!!

And remember - your mom is a LEFT-HANDED, maybe athletic but NOT masculine, woman. Eehh, intelligence is as intelligence does otherwise it ain't .... your father's affinities put aside - glad to see that you are doing better!

GeologyJoe said...

one would think that a doctor could tell the difference between measles and HIV.

get well soon.

LOBO said...

I hate doctors to! sounds like he can't tell between his arse and a hole in the ground, measles or hiv he can't tell! lots of prayers michael-ann over here. Let us know..

Unknown said...

"i hate doctors" would be tha definitive understatement of my LIFE! u may recall my bizarre tales of growin' up with carol (cochran) hall and HER obsession with doctors with a specialty in psychiatry.....oh yeh YOU KNEW THA DINGBAT she wuz your stepmom's BFF or some such shit....mikie, i had a F'D up life cuz of doctors.....i had to get OFF meds years ago cuz #1: not taking antipsychotics any longer somehow CURED my "psychosis"....and #2: my body is almost done cuz of years of massive doses of those medications. i even get lots of $cheddar$ cuz of it....they proved it all in courtrooms. but money SHO' cain't buy love, or bring back your health. i almost died from diabetes mellitus that led to ketoacidosis....hypothyroidism...hypotrigylcerides....
and i've got this permanant and quite irratating dsykensia that looks on a CT scan to neurologists to be similar to Parkinson's Disease and Alzeimer's Disease....losing buttloads of weight and gettin a life and taking *other* meds like insulin have been successful in treatin some of my maladies.....but this dyskensia is fuckin painful beyond belief and tha pain is like, perpetual....and it's frustrating as hell too cuz my constant tics and shakin make me look like a dope fiend.....to strangers -- including police......and you alone must remember how agile i once was....'member girls wilderness camp and my guitar playin? i drop EVER'THING i touch and fall down and well, it sux to say tha least. so i agree wit ya, "I HATE DRS!!!"

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